ALL women and nonbinary people regardless of sexuality, race, religion, relationship status/history/type.

I’m married or in a long-term relationship. Can I be a part of the community?

Absolutely! We are also looking for mentors who are in long-term relationships, so if you’d like to support women in the form of weekly discussion facilitation, please reach out.

I was not raised in Christian purity culture but this program seems like precisely the right fit for me. Can I join?

Absolutely! Please note that we will be sharing with this perspective in mind, and while your unique experience is most welcome, the dialogue will be cantering and prioritizing the particular challenges that come from an evangelical perspective and upbringing.

What are your political & religious positions?

We are pro-choice, anti-racist, feminist, queer-affirming, gender-affirming, sex & body positive, pro-union, etc. etc. etc. Alexandra is not a practicing Christian although she does attend the odd Quaker meeting from time to time. We value difference of experience and the way that our stories shape the way we see the world. Provided you can recognize and acknowledge the stories of harm within evangelical communities, as well as communicate your story with compassion and participate without judgment, you are welcome to bring your diverse perspective, beliefs, and self to our community.

What are your qualifications?

I very unexpectedly became a moderator of this group -- my cofaciliator needed to back out due to personal reasons. Initially, I had begun my involvement simply as far as getting the structure organized and working on the marketing, because I knew how much needed to be done in this space. When my cofacilitator stepped back, I wasn't sure what to do, but people had already paid to sign up. So, I asked them. And they all said to keep going, and that they'll support me. And support me they did. The first cohort was a group effort, truly. And through that, we discovered its transformative potency. The way the program is led it's clear that my role is simply to hold space for the amazing way in which, over time, the sharing within the group and collective support & feedback changes lives. This group has helped me, too, in my dating journey. It's a place to really let yourself be seen and I've come to value it as the way I can give back, in honour of the many people that helped me on my way and a community that is so desperate to heal and live better lives.

Do you offer refunds?

Yes. Please ensure that you are open and committed to the process at the time of signing up, but if before the start of the second session, you do not wish to continue for any reason, we will refund the remainder of the cost, pro-rated, minus a 30% processing & administration fee.

Do you offer scholarships?

Yes, although we ask for administrative support in return. If you’d be interested in an exchange of services in lieu of payment, please e-mail us for more information.

What if I need to miss a session? Will there be a replay?

The weekly Sunday workshops and bonus sessions will be recorded and made available to our community for replay. The support groups will not be recorded, for privacy reasons.

Are you ready
to truly let go of
purity culture?

An 8 week journey with a supportive community to help you discover who you really are in your post-evangelical dating life.

Get crystal clear on what you're looking for, become the person ready for that relationship, and align your life with the partnership you truly desire—without the shame, confusion, or fear that purity culture left behind.

Next cohort starts: [DATE] | Weekly live workshops + community support

YES, I LOVE THIS!

I love the vision of this course and hope many people benefit from it.

- Joshua Harris

Author of the seminal 1997 book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” and, now, an advocate for post-purity culture healing.

You Know The Feeling?

When you're attracted to someone but can't tell if it's genuine chemistry or just your trained "helper" instinct.
When you freeze during physical intimacy even though you want it, and the shame doesn't seem to go away.
When you can't articulate what you want in a partner beyond "someone who can respect my journey."
When you keep choosing partners who need fixing or saving or end up in controlling dynamics without understanding why.
When you overreact to "normal" dating things because everything is so different from how you were raised.
When your family asks "when are you going to settle down," but you're deconstructing everything they taught you about relationships.

You're not behind. You're not broken. You were just taught to ignore yourself—and now you're learning to listen.

Hi, I'm Alexandra,

your post-evangelical dating

support group host.

In 1999, I led my high school youth group through Joshua Harris's "I Kissed Dating Goodbye." I was homeschooled through ATI/IBLP (yes, the Duggar program—you might have seen "Shiny Happy People" on Amazon Prime). I absorbed every rule, every shame message, every warning about guarding my heart.

Twenty-five years later, Harris has since renounced his book (and endorsed this program!) I'm openly bisexual, an agnostic with a dynamic spiritual life, and I've discovered what works for myself in dating, love & relationship, but what a journey it's been!

My PhD research focused on trauma and the body, I'm neurodiverse, and I've spent years studying what it actually takes to heal from religious trauma while building a life that feels true.

It's truly an honour to guide the conversation. There's something transformative about this group. We all *get* each other, and through that, we can really help each other discover what we are looking for in our dating life, post purity culture.

Are you ready to kiss dating hello? I would love to have you be a part of the next cohort.

Get Ready to
Kiss Dating Hello!

What isall the buzz about?

An 8 week post-evangelical dating support group & virtual community of women+++ who seek growth and learning in a nurturing and inspiring environment.

Post-Evangelical

Support Community

A private space to connect with other participants, share wins and challenges, ask questions, and find encouragement from people who truly understand post-evangelical dating struggles.

Weekly Workshop

& Support Group

Live, interactive sessions where you'll learn frameworks, practice new skills, and receive personalized support in a small group setting with others on the same journey.

Course Materials

& Self-Paced Resources

Worksheets, reflections, and exercises to deepen your learning between sessions and apply concepts to your unique situation at your own pace.

What will I learn?

Over the course of 8 weeks, you will:

Discover how to date and create intimacy safely, dynamically, and in alignment with your ideal vision for your life.

Learn how to identify patterns that are remnants of purity culture, and how to choose to walk away from dating rules, conventions, and ideas that no longer serve you.

Learn how to name and say “yes” to your deepest desires and how to say “no” when something is not right for you.

Build confidence in self-expression in your dating life through radical self-acceptance

Discover the joy of dating for the sake of dating, while also pursuing what you are looking for in your life

Release sexual shame to embrace sensuality and freedom in every aspect of your life

Let go of “good girl” patterns so you can explore without guilt, express yourself freely, and pursue your wildest dreams

Understand the elements of dating safely, setting boundaries, and choosing your dating practices wisely

Just wanted to share that I finally fully cut some toxic ties with an ex, and I've met an absolutely amazing man who treats me incredibly well.

I attribute this to this course for helping me stand strong in what I'm looking for in a future partner. It seems to be making a huge difference."

Jenn

Alexa Young, CA

Join the Next Cohort!

$399

This includes all supporting course materials, 8 live calls, and a supportive community for custom, focussed, tangible ways

to improve your dating life.

JOIN US!

Examples of Real Transformations

from I Kissed Dating Hello:

Being able to go on a date without having extreme anxiety panic attacks.
Being able to clearly identify & express needs and set standards for being treated with respect.
Getting better at identifying "red flags" ...and knowing what to do about it.
Releasing shame around religious teaching about sexuality and sexual exploration.
Learning how to share about complicated histories & religious trauma.
Learning to setting higher standards on a dating app (leading to finding *the one*).
Discovering what style & pace of dating works well.
Not being afraid to receive in relationship (rather than overgiving all the time).

It all started when... a number of us came together and realized that having a collective space to heal from purity culture was lacking for those of us no longer "in the fold," specifically when it came to learning how to navigate secular dating and relationships.

Many of my post-evangelical friends have found dating incredibly confusing, demoralizing, and frustrating. We grew up with the fear mongering of no-sex-before-marriage, promise rings, NO sexual education and -- for many of us -- the rigidity of courtship.

And yet, one by one, the promises that were told to us as young women turned out to be false.

Waiting did not lead to better sex. And the "good" sex we were having wasn't in the right relationship. We were never taught to recognize abuse. Strict gender roles failed to help us actualize our whole selves. We had no idea how to explore what we really wanted out of dating.

Therapy can be helpful to work through the trauma of this sort of an upbringing. But a supportive way to learn the ins and outs of dating? Nothing out there *really* got to the heart of a lot of our struggles: we were raised for a relationship system we no longer believed in.

Together, we started meeting, and out of that I Kissed Dating Hello was formed.

Carol Robinson

“Alexandra is so patient, empathetic, and open-minded. She has been tremendous and instrumental in helping me find my voice."

Desaree Brisson

"Alexandra has laughed, celebrated and rejoiced in some of the best moments of my life, and has gently supported me and has been one of my biggest cheerleaders in my toughest moments. Her unique personality is unmatched, and you won't want to miss out on getting to know her."

Katharine Brach

“Alexandra has the ability to help other people become alive through her experiences, honesty, and depth of insight into the dating world.”

Is this you?

You want to feel grounded when dating, but you're having a hard time not letting past patterns cloud your judgement or enjoyment of dating

You aren’t sure how to enjoy dating just for the sake of dating and have found yourself wondering if dating and relationships could be easier, more fun

You feel shame or have a hard time enjoying your sexuality, or are afraid to explore your sensuality to the fullest extent that you crave

You have a hard time expressing your needs, setting boundaries, and walking away from an unhealthy situation

You’re tired of not feeling understood when dating people raised outside of purity culture

You want to heal from limiting gender roles in your post-evangelical dating but not sure how

You are not sure how to integrate your faith journey into your dating aspirations and practices

You don’t know how to look for a partner who aligns with your current values and desire for growth outside of authoritarian ways of dating

You are community-oriented, enjoy learning in a shared space, and are a supportive, non-judgmental person of people’s many journeys to healing, growth, and enjoyment

Embracing Change

Discover the journey of letting go of traditional dating norms and embracing a new way of living. Dive into stories of growth, self-discovery, and finding love in unexpected places. Join us as we navigate the complexities of relationships in a post-evangelical world.

The Journey, Together:

Week 1: Your Story

Understand how purity culture shaped your relationship patterns and reclaim your narrative

→ Break free from shame so you can show up authentically in dating

Week 2: Your Dreams

Get crystal clear on what YOU actually want (not the "godly spouse" you were told to want)

→ Define your vision for partnership beyond evangelical scripts

Week 3: Your Goals

Identify purity culture wounds that need healing before you're ready for healthy partnership

→ Create a growth plan that addresses people-pleasing, boundaries, and self-trust

Week 4: Your Life

Align your daily life with your real values—even when it conflicts with family expectations

→ Build a foundation that supports the relationship you want, not the one you "should" want

Week 5: Your Safety

Heal from purity culture's impact on physical intimacy and learn what safety actually feels like

→ Address freezing, dissociation, and shame so you can be present and connected and advocate for yourself when anything feels "off"

Week 6: Your Choice

Define your non-negotiables and learn to spot common post-purity culture red flags

→ Trust yourself to choose wisely and walk away from dynamics that feel familiar but unhealthy

Week 7: Your Freedom

Navigate the tension between personal freedom and committed partnership

→ Build a life so full that a relationship enhances rather than completes you

Week 8: Your Power

Integrate everything and step fully into post-evangelical relationship confidence

→ Feel confident that you can date as your authentic self without apology

"Healing & growing in the way we relate to others, especially in a dating context, can feel like stepping into a scary unknown.

I'm super grateful for this safe and welcoming space for those of us who want to learn to embrace dating in a healthy way, post-High Control Religion to be vulnerable and supportive of each other.

Thank you so much, Alexandra."

Joelle

Alexa Young, CA

Ready to Kiss Purity Culture Goodbye?

The next cohort starts [DATE].

Space is limited to maintain intimacy and safety in our community.

$399

SECURE YOUR SPOT NOW

Who is this for?

If you feel stuck in old dating patterns and shame from not knowing how to get over certain challenges in dating.
If you feel shy and uncertain and want to feel confident in your dating life.
If you want to explore your sensuality or sexuality and are unsure how to do so safely and in a way that is in line with your values.
If you are confused about secular dating practices and would benefit from having a caring community to express and explore your questions.
If you want to find more joy in your dating life, be able to recover from disappointment more easily, and become clear on how to pursue what you want, this program was birthed with love and care for you.

This course is NOT for you if:

You are looking for a course that will guarantee that you will find your dream relationship in 6 easy steps
You are looking for an inexpensive substitute for therapy
You are not in the space or ready to open yourself up to change
You don’t enjoy a group learning environment
You are looking for a soapbox on what you believe is the “right” way to date

This course is for you if:

You are ready for a transformative experience that completely changes your perspective on dating
You are in the process of deconstructing your upbringing and determining what is right for you
You are looking for tools to enjoy dating while staying true to your values and vision for your life
You are curious about areas of growth that can make you a healthier person to date

FAQ's

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A Note from Alexandra

I feel so incredibly honored to have created a community of women+++ who crave more agency in the way they date, have sex, create relationships and build a sense of family that is based on belonging, trust, and safety.

More than anything, I am seeking to hold space for the conversation of how to process, heal and grow through the dating culture of evangelical Christianity. I am here to shed old beliefs and honor what we have lost and gained in the process of becoming who we truly are.

I am not an expert. I am a survivor. I am a seeker of truth and freedom. I have lived stories beyond what I ever thought possible.

This is what I have learned along the way. And what I am still learning, to this day. You are so welcome to join the conversation.

Come learn along with me and discover safety, fulfillment, and connection in freely choosing and pursuing how you want to date.

Ready to Kiss Purity Culture

Goodbye?